Songs from the Heart
by Divalady87
Summary: A series of unrelated songfics that revolve around Bella and Jacob, sometimes together, sometimes separate, but still all about my two favorite characters!
1. I Surrender

AN: Hi everyone, this is my first fanfic so bear with me. This is a songfic to the song I surrender by Celine Dion. I heard this song, and thought about Bella and Jacob. How all Bella had to do was surrender to her love for Jacob. This song is so beautiful, I suggest that you go and look it up and listen to it. I hope you enjoy my story!

Disclaimer: I own nothing

I Surrender

I've been driving for hours now; I don't even know how much time has passed. All I had on my mind was the choice that I knew that I had to make soon, I knew I couldn't keep stringing both Edward and Jacob along, but I couldn't decide, I loved them both. After I kissed Jake, I knew that I loved him also, but could I really love him like I love Edward? As I realized that I should probably be focused on the road, I heard a song playing on my radio that really caught my attention. As I listened I felt my heart growing lighter and my choice become clearer and clearer.

**There's so much life I've left to live  
and this fires burning still**

I did have so much life to live, if I chose Edward, I would have to give up my life. I could be with Edward forever, but is that really what I wanted still? I would have to give up my friends, Renee and Charlie, and Jake; I would have to give up Jake. He already told me that if I chose Edward, we couldn't be friends anymore; could I give all that up?

**When I watch you look at me  
I think I could find the will  
to stand for every dream**

I remember the vision I had as I kissed Jacob, the two little kids I saw running, I knew without a doubt that they were mine, mine and Jake's. I knew I had never wanted to be a mother, but in that moment everything felt so right. But was I ready for that future?

**And forsake the solid ground  
and give up this fear within  
of what would happen if they ever knew  
I'm in love with you  
**

What would the Cullen's think if I chose Jacob? I had lost them all once, would I lose them again? Would they all leave me like they did before? I love them all like family, I don't know if I could give them up. But if I chose to be with Jacob, with a werewolf, they probably wouldn't have anything to do me. I would be together with their mortal enemy.

**'cause I'd surrender everything  
to feel the chance to live again  
I reach to you  
**

When Edward left, I was so broken; I didn't think that I could ever feel alive. But then, when I starting spending more time with Jake; I felt so alive again. That hole that was left in my heart started to mend until it was gone. My Jacob, my sun, he fixed me, he made me whole again. Did I really want to go back to Edward, back to the one who had caused the hole to begin with?

**I know you can feel it to  
We'd make it through  
A thousand dreams I still believe  
I'd make you give them all to me  
I'd hold you in my arms and never let go  
I surrender  
**

I've always know how Jake felt about me. I just didn't want to acknowledge it. If I was ignorant to the fact that he loved me, I could continue to pretend that we could be friends that we didn't need to be anything else.

**I know I can't survive  
another night away from you  
you're the reason I go on**

The thought of never seeing Jake again, it broke my heart. I needed him in my life; I couldn't survive if he wasn't there. He was the reason I went on after Edward left me. It was the thought that I was going to see Jake that got me out of bed in the morning. Hanging out in his garage and watching him as he worked on our motorcycles, or doing homework. Even just hanging out by the beach. I loved doing anything with Jacob.

**And now I need to live the truth  
Right now, there's no better time  
from this fear I will break free**

Is that what's holding me back, fear? Am I scared to love Jake? I never thought I was good enough for Edward. The fact that he chose to love me was amazing. I always felt that I needed to act a certain way when I'm with Edward. I never felt like I could be my normal clumsy self. But with Jake, it's so easy to be myself. I can do things that I love to do without wondering what Jake is thinking about me. He loved me for me, but what if that changed? What if Jake got tired of me like Edward got tired of me? I laughed at that thought as it came and went, this was Jake, I knew that he would never leave me.

**And I'll live again with love  
and no they can't take that away from me  
and they will see...**

I didn't think I could love again after Edward left me. When he left me, my heart had died. But between warm sodas and bonfires, I felt my heart coming back to life. I didn't think I could survive when Edward left, but looking back, I did live and I enjoyed it. I can live Edward, I've done it before, but I can't live without Jake.

**'cause I'd surrender everything  
To feel the chance to live again  
I reach to you  
I know you can feel it too  
We'd make it through  
A thousand dreams I still believe  
I'd make you give them all to me  
I'd hold you in my arms and never let go  
I surrender  
**

I didn't realize that while I had been listening to the song, I had been driving to La Push. My body and my heart knew where I needed to be, it was just my mind that was fighting me. My mind didn't want to be let go of Edward, it argued that Edward was my only love, but I knew that wasn't true, because I loved Jake too. I knew that my decision had already been made. I knew who I wanted. I pushed my truck, I had to get La Push, I had to get my Jacob.

**Every night's getting longer  
and this fire is getting stronger, babe  
I'll swallow my pride and I'll be alive  
Did you hear my call  
I surrender all  
**

I pulled into Jacob's driveway and saw him walking from the garage. I know he saw me, but he just walked passed and started heading towards the house. "Jacob wait!" I yelled to him as I stepped out of my truck into the pouring rain. He turned and looked back at me," What do you want Bells, why are you here? Go back to your leech, I'm sure he's missing you" "Please Jake" I begged, "I need to talk you".

**'cause I'd surrender everything  
To feel the chance to live again  
I reach to you  
I know you can feel it too  
We'd make it through  
A thousand dreams I still believe  
I'd make you give them all to me  
I'd hold you in my arms and never let go  
I surrender**

I saw in his eyes, the struggle he was going through. He wanted to talk to me, but knew that I had made my decision and he didn't think it was him. I had to make him see that I chose him. I did the first thing that came to my mind; I ran full force to him and kissed him. I tried to pour all of my love and everything that I had into that kiss. I pulled away and looked up into eyes, "Jake, it's you, it's always been you. I'm sorry for hurting you and being stupid and denying my feelings for you and…." Before I could finish I felt his lips pressed back onto mine. **  
**

**Right here, right now  
I give my life to live again  
I'll break free, take me  
my everything I surrender all to you  
**

"Bells, are you sure about this? I couldn't take it if you ran back him again, I wouldn't survive it" he asked as he looked at me again."Jake, I've never been more sure of something in my life. I thought I couldn't live without Edward, but I did, and it was because of you that I did, but I can't live without you. I need the sun in my life. I looked into eyes, and the love I saw was enough to make me cry, "I love you Jake, so much." "I love you to Bells" and with that he kissed me again. As we stood out there in the rain, I faintly heard the last few verses of the song coming from my truck

**Right here, right now  
I give my life to live again  
I break free, take me  
my everything I surrender all to you**

It felt right to surrender to my love for Jacob. It felt right standing here with him. I knew there was no place I would rather be.

That's it! I hope you guys enjoyed it. Review and let me know how it was, I've read so many wonderful stories, but have never tried to write one, so I hope its okay!


	2. Angels

_**Hi Everyone! I'm back! I've decided to do a series of songfic one-shots about my favorite couple: Bella and Jacob. This is my second songfic, done to the song Angels by Within Temptation. I hope you enjoy!  
Disclaimer: I own nothing!**_

**Sparkling angel I believed  
You are my savior in my time of need**

When I first moved to Forks, I knew I would have a hard adjusting. But when I met Edward, I felt like I belonged, that he was it for me. He would save me from this boring human life and would be together forever.

**Blinded by faith, I couldn't hear  
All the whispers, the warnings so clear**

I can remember Jacob coming to my prom with warnings from Billy about Edward and his family, telling me to stay away. Even my dad gave me warnings. But I ignored them all. I didn't listen, I was so blinded by the love I had for Edward and his family. I really wished I had listened to them, and left Edward alone.

**I see the angels, I'll lead them to your door  
There's no escape now, no mercy no more**

I hear the pack coming, I'm glad I'll be able to see my Jacob again. I know why they're here, and a part of me is glad, the part of me that died. They won't show mercy to Edward after what he did. They have extended all the mercy they can give. What he did is unforgivable.

**No remorse 'cause I still remember  
The smile when you tore me apart**

When he lead to into the forest and told me he was leaving, I felt my heart die, it was as if it stopped beating right then and there. But Jake came along and got it beating again. I felt like I could live again. He made me whole again. I should feel bad about what is going to happen, but I can't find in my being to feel any remorse for Edward, he brought this on himself.

**You took my heart, deceived me right from the start  
You showed me dreams, I wished they turn into real**

I had always wanted forever with Edward. When Alice said she saw me as a vampire, I was happy, it meant that I would be just like Edward and we could be together forever. Now, I don't want forever all I want is a lifetime with Jake and the pack.

**You broke the promise and made me realize I  
t was all just a lie**

Edward said that he loved me and that he would never leave me. He lied to me. I know he says it was for my own good to leave me, but he left me. He promised he would never hurt me, and he did, he has hurt me beyond anything I could imagine.

**Sparkling angel, I couldn't see  
Your dark intentions, your feelings for me  
Fallen angel, tell me why  
What is the reason, the thorn in your eye?**

I don't understand how Edward could do this to me. He knew that I had chosen Jake. When Alice saw my future disappear he knew right then and there. He thought this would make me change my mind, but all it did was make me hate him. I hate Edward for doing this to me, for taking away my choice.

**I see the angels, I'll lead them to your door  
There's no escape now, no mercy no more**

I can smell the pack now, Alice was right, they do smell like wet dog. Although Jake has another smell besides the wet dog, he smells like the forest and like home. He's come for me, he still loves me, even though I have become the very thing he hates and is meant to destroy...a vampire.

**No remorse 'cause I still remember  
The smile when you tore me apart**

I remember what happened like it was yesterday,although its been a whole month. I had just left La Push after telling Jake that I loved him and chosen him. Edward had been in my room when I got home and he wasn't happy.

**Flashback:**

"You smell like wet dog, you went and saw Jacob again didn't you!  
"Edward its over, I've chosen Jacob, I love him."  
"No, I won't let you leave me Bella, we are meant to be together.  
" Edward, I'm sorry, but I want to be with jake, I think that you should leave."  
"NO! I'm not letting you run off with that dog, let's see if he still wants you when you're like me"

. **End flashback.**

And with that he lunged at me. I remember Alice and Carlise coming and taking me back to their house, we're I've been since. It was too late to try and suck the venom out. Alice and Carlise didn't get to me in time.

**You took my heart, deceived me right from the start  
You showed me dreams, I wished they turn into real  
You broke the promise and made me realize It was all just a lie**

I once longed for this life, now I hate it. I'm glad I'm not feeling the bloodlust that comes with being a newborn though, Carlise said that had something to do with me keeping part of my humanity since I fought the change. I fought for Jake and for my future with him. I couldn't just surrender to the fire that was coursing through my veins. Carlise said I can even be around humans, but I still hate this half life I'm living.

**Could have been forever  
Now we have reached the end**

Edwards end is near, and I can't help but feel glad. He cursed me to this life, so he should have to pay. I'm glad the wolves have decided to spare the rest of the Cullens. They've been really helpful though all of this even Rosalie.

**This world may have failed you  
It doesn't give you a reason why  
You could have chosen a different path in life  
The smile when you tore me apart**

Edward was frantic when he realized what he had done to me. He said he wasn't in his right mind and that we was sorry, but he just wanted forever with me. I tried to kill him when I came around and I was strong enough to do it had Emmitt and Jasper not restrained me. I told him any love I had for him had died the minute my heart stopped beating. Just because he wanted forever didn't give him the right to change me.

**You took my heart, deceived me right from the start  
You showed me dreams, I wished they turn into real  
You broke the promise and made me realize It was all just a lie**

Edward broke the treaty the minute he bit me. My wolves have come to see that Edward gets what coming to him. Then they are taking me home, they accept me for who I am and not what I've become.

**Could have been forever  
Now we have reached the end**

They're at the door now, Sam has phased back demanding that Edward comes out, and that they release me to come with them. I feel my dead heart burst with love for my wolves. Edward thought that by changing me I would love him more and Jacob wouldn't want me anymore. That I wouldn't be accepted by the pack, but he was wrong, they still care and Jacob still loves me. I hear footsteps coming up the stairs, and soon my door busts open. And standing there was my beautiful Jake with love in eyes, "Come on Bella, I've come to take you home."


	3. Requests

Hi everyone! I wanted to let you guys know that I have about 4-5 song fics that I'm working on right now, and I'm going to try and get them posted before I start school again.

But I also wanted to tell you guys that I'm going to start taking requests. Do you have song that you would love to be turned into a Jacob/Bella fic? Let me know, and I'll see what I can do!


	4. My Immortal

**Hi guys! This one is done in both Bella and Jacobs POV. Enjoy! **

**Disclaimer: I still own nothing**

**"My Immortal" by Evanescence**

**I'm so tired of being here**

**Suppressed by all my childish fears**

_**Bella**_

I'm sitting just looking out my window, watching the world go by. Everywhere I look though, reminds me of him. Everything I see reminds of the times that we spent together. I can't even say his name without feeling the gaping hole in my chest flair up in pain. I'm so tired of feeling like this. I want to be better.

**And if you have to leave**

**I wish that you would just leave**

**'Cause your presence still lingers here**

**And it won't leave me alone**

How can I get better when I still hear his voice? When I still see him sitting in my rocking chair? Or lying on my bed with me. What happened to him 'not existing'? He told me it would be as if he never existed, but he's still here and he won't leave me alone. I feel him everywhere I go.

**These wounds won't seem to heal**

**This pain is just too real**

**There's just too much that time cannot erase**

I can't make the pain go away. I've tried to pretend that everything is alright and that I'm alright, but all I feel is pain. I'm glad for the pain through, it makes me remember that he really was here and not just someone I imagined.

**When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears**

**When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fear**

**And I held your hand through all of these years**

_**Jacob**_

I could see that Bells wasn't doing good. She tried to hide it, but I could tell. I could see when she thought about _him_. She would hold her stomach like she was trying to hold herself together. There were times when she would let her guard down and I could see the pain, it was those days that she would collapse into my arms and just cry. I would hold her and whisper to just let it all out.

What really hurt were the nightmares that she was having. I worked it out with Sam to patrol around her house. I remember the first time I heard her have one, it took everything in me to not bust into the house to see if she was alright. I want to help her, but she just won't let me in. I love her so much, but she can't see passed her hurt for that leech, to see what's been in front of her the whole time. I'll continue to be there for her and hold her hand as she goes through this, but I don't know how much more I can take.

**But you still have**

**All of me**

_**Bella**_

He stills holds a piece of me, a piece of my heart. Even after everything he did to me, all the pain that he cause me, I still love him with. I know that if he came back and still wanted me, I know I would take him back. After all the pain he's caused, I would still take him back. That's pathetic, I always would laugh at those girls in the movie that took the guys back after they had been mistreated, and here I am now, one of those girls,

**You used to captivate me**

**By your resonating light**

Edward was the light in this dark, dreary town. He was my little slice of heaven. But now he was gone, and I don't know what to do anymore. Everything is so dark, everywhere I look I see Edward. I miss him so much it hurts. I miss light, and I wonder if I'll ever see the light again.

**Now I'm bound by the life you left behind**

**Your face it haunts**

**My once pleasant dreams**

**Your voice it chased away**

**All the sanity in me**

I close my eyes at night and try to sleep, but I see his face. I remember the day in the forest when he walked away from me. I remember it like it happened yesterday, even though it's been months. I wake up screaming night after night, that's not normal. I think sometimes that I'm going crazy. What sane person hears the voice of their vampire ex-boyfriend when doing reckless stuff? On the other hand what sane person would get involved with a vampire to begin with?

**These wounds won't seem to heal**

**This pain is just too real**

**There's just too much that time cannot erase**

Ugh! I'm tired of this pain. It just hurts so much and so bad that I just want to scream. I hate seeing the pain that I'm causing Charlie and Jacob. I'm trying not to feel the pain anymore. But there's so much I don't know if I'll ever stop feeling this pain. I know Jake is trying to make it go away, and I will admit that being around him makes me feel better, but I don't know if he can ever make it all go away.

**I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone**

**But though you're still with me**

**I've been alone all along**

I know he's not coming back, I tell myself that he and his family isn't coming back, but that doesn't help the pain. Although I know I have my family and Jake, but I still feel so alone. I feel like no one knows what I'm going through, or what I'm feeling. I know I'll eventually get better, but for now, I just want to sit and wallow in my pain.

**AN: A little darker then my other two I know, but I was feeling a little dark when I wrote this, thinking back on my break-up and the pain I went through. Hope you enjoyed it anyhow lol. Til next time guys!**


	5. Hush Hush

**AN: I'm back! This one is a little different, but it's all explained in the note at the bottom! Enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. **

**Hush Hush**

I hated how Edward felt the need to oversee every little thing that I did. The last straw was about me hanging around Jake. He would always tell me it's not safe for me to go over there, because Alice couldn't see when I did. But I knew Jake would have never hurt me, but Edward was blinded by his hatred for the wolves, that he couldn't see how dangerous he and his 'family' was. I think that Edward knew that if I kept hanging with Jake, I would leave him; he should have never doubted my love for him. He should have known that my love for him was strong. The more he forbids me from seeing Jake, the more I saw his flaws. He was controlling, irrational, and immature. Although he had lived for hundreds of years, he was still 17 at heart.

Another thing that bugged me about Edward was how he thought just because he and his family had money that he could buy and do anything that he wanted. I know most girls would have loved to be pampered the way I was, from the new car, to the designer wardrobe (courtesy of Alice) and chefs flown in from around the world, but I'm just plain Bella. I love my truck, I love my jeans and t-shirts, and I love hamburgers from the café around the corner. I didn't want any of that; all I wanted was Edwards love.

This is going to be one of the hardest conversations that I have ever had. I love Edward I do, but I can't do this anymore. There's so much that he does that I'm noticing now. I was so blinded by Edward and my love for him, that I didn't see that our relationship wasn't healthy. I was just so amazed that someone so perfect was interested in me, that I lost myself. I was never one of those girls that follow a man blindly. I was never one that wanted to give things that I wanted to do just because I guy said that I shouldn't do it. Case in point, my motorcycle that is now sitting unused because it's now safe or 'ladylike'. Screw that, if I want to ride a motorcycle then I'm going to ride a motorcycle.

I didn't know what to say to Edward, how do you break someone's heart a nice way. I'm such a coward; I couldn't even use my own words. I took some words from a song that I heard on the radio and put it into a poem that I'm going to read to him. What if I can't get through it, what if I chicken out and rush back into his arms. No I can do this I'm strong; I'm not that weak little girl that I was. Thanks to Jake, I'm stronger and I can get through this. I hear him coming through my window, okay here it goes.

I close my journal as Edward comes over to my desk. "Hello love, how are you doing this evening?" "I'm fine Edward, um, but I need to talk to you." Edward took my hand and led me to my bed, and sat me down. "What do you need to talk to me about love; you know you can tell me anything". I pull a piece of paper from my pocket and stand to look at Edward, "Edward, I want to read you something, but I don't want you to say anything until after I'm done", with that I started reading:

**I never needed you to be strong**

**I never needed you for pointing out my wrongs**

**I never needed pain, I never needed strain**

**My love for you was strong enough, you should have known**

**I never needed you for judgment**

**I never needed you to question what I spent**

**I never asked for help, I take care of myself**

**I don't know why you think you gotta hold on me**

**And it's a little late for conversations**

**There isn't anything for you to say**

**And my eyes hurt, hands shiver,**

**So look at me and listen to me**

**Because I don't want to stay another minute**

**I don't want you to say a single word**

**Hush hush, hush hush**

**There is no other way; I get the final say because**

**I don't want to do this any longer**

**I don't want you, there's nothing left to say**

**Hush hush, hush hush**

**I've already spoken, our love is broken**

**Baby hush hush**

**I never needed your corrections**

**On everything from how I act to what I say**

**I never needed words, I never needed hurt**

**I never needed you to be there every day**

**I'm sorry for the way I let go**

**On everything I wanted when you came along**

**But I ain't never beatin', broken not defeated**

**I know next to you is not where I belong**

**And it's a little late for explanations**

**There isn't anything that you can do**

**And my eyes hurt, hands shiver**

**So you will listen when I say**

**No more words**

**No more lies**

**No more crying **

**No more pain**

**No more hurt**

**No more tryin' **

**(Hush Hush by the Pussycat Dolls)**

I look up from my paper to see Edwards's expression. He looks hurt and ready to cry. I know that he understands what I'm trying to say with these lyrics. He knows that I'm letting him go and that I'm breaking up with him. We stare at each other in silence, while he tries to process all that he's heard. After what feels like hours, he finally speaks and as he does I know that I've made the right choice, "Are you sure that you want this love? This isn't that dog talking is it? I knew he was a bad influence on you, he's polluted your mind against me, I know..." I cut him off before he can keep rambling on, "Edward this has nothing to do with Jake, this is all me, I don't like what I've become being with you. I see things in a whole new light now. I would like to continue to be friends with you and your family, but I don't want to be with you, please understand that. I think that you should go now. Tell everyone I'll see them later to explain." With that Edward gets off my bed and leaves through my window, as I close my window I hear, "I still love you and I always will". I whisper into the night knowing he can hear me, "I love you too and always will, but this is what's best for me"

**AN: Hey guys, I know this isn't like my others, but I wanted to try something different. I don't know if I'm happy with this, but it's been so long since I've put up another chapter, I wanted to get something up. I feel like its rushed and sloppy, but the story is there. I may re do this at a later date, but for now, this is where it stands. **

**Also, I'm thinking of writing a companion story to this one, to explain some of the lines in here, like the one about the chefs being flown in, and the line about Bella being stronger because of Jake. I want to dig deeper into this piece. So look for that soon. **

**Until next time guys!**


	6. I Hate this Part

**"I Hate This Part" by the Pussycat Dolls**

**AN: Hi guys! I'm back with another one! This one is all Bella's POV. Enjoy  
Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**We're driving slow through the snow**

**On fifth avenue**

**And right now radio is**

**All that we can hear**

It's usually never this quiet in the car. We always find things to talk about. Edward would tell me about his family and his life before he was vampire. I would talk about my mother and growing up in Arizona. We could usually talk for hours about any and everything. But now, it's like we have nothing in common anymore

**Man we ain't talked since we left**

**It's so overdue**

**Its cold outside**

**But between us**

**It's worse in here**

It's like there are two strangers that are sharing a car ride. I feel like there is this wall of ice between the two of us now, that no matter how hard we chip away at it, it just gets built right back up I don't know what happened, I don't know where it all went wrong.

**The world slows down **

**but my heart beats fast right now**

**I know this is the part where the end starts**

I don't want to believe that it's over, but I know that we can both feel the distance. I know that this will be our last trip together. There will be no more driving up to Canada for the holiday to visit his family. There will be no more living together and sharing a life. There will be no more happily ever after for us. Our story ends here on this cold, snowy road.

**I can't take it any longer**

**Thought that we were stronger**

**All we do is linger**

**Slipping through our fingers**

I think we like the thought of us being together. I think that's why we both have held on so long. But I can't take it any longer. I can't pretend anymore. I'm tired of pretending that everything is going to be okay, when it's not. I'm tired of pretending to be the happy, perfect couple when we are out with our friends, them not knowing that we were arguing in the car before we got there. But the main thing I'm tired of pretending about is that I'm not in love with my best friend.

**I don't want to try now**

**All that's left is goodbye to**

**Find a way that I can tell you**

I know we both know that it's over, but I don't know how to bring up to Edward. I haven't found a way to tell him that it's over and I'm leaving. All that's left to do in this relationship is say goodbye to each other. I'm going to miss him and his family, but I know it's for the best.

**I hate this part right here**

**I hate this part right here**

**I just can't take your tears**

**I hate this part right here**

I hate how we keep hurting each other, but we are too weak to let go of each other. I hate feeling like we've lost the connection that we have always had. I hate crying myself to sleep at night. But most of all I hate not knowing what Jake is doing. I hate not knowing whether he's moved on or not.

**Everyday seven takes of the same old scene**

**Seems we're bound by the laws of the same routine**

Every day it's the same, me waking up with Edward watching me. Fixing breakfast and eating by myself, not even enjoying it anymore. A kiss, a hug and I'm out the door to class. Coming home, fixing dinner and once again eating by myself. We can't even go out to eat because it would be too weird if people noticed that Edward wasn't eating. I'm tired of the mundane life, I want excitement and adventure. I want to try new things and have new experiences.

**Gotta talk to you now 'fore we go to sleep**

**But will we sleep once I tell you what's hurting me**

We finally arrived at his parents' house. Carlisle and Esme moved to Canada a few years ago. The 'kids' had left to travel to different parts of the world, so they decided they would move into something smaller just for the two of them, but with enough rooms for days like this when everyone would come together again. Everyone was going to be here. I knew I should have told Edward how I felt before we got here, but I was scared. I knew he wouldn't make a scene with his family here. I was going to tell him at dinner, say good bye to everyone and fly back home in the morning.

**The world slows down but my heart beats fast right now**

**I know this is the part where the end starts**

It's getting closer to dinner, and I'm a nervous wreck. I don't think I can do this. Edward is all I've ever known, could I really let him go and start over? I don't want us to end, but I know that it needs to happen so that we can both be happy. I think Alice knows what's going on. She keeps giving me these knowing looks. My future has probably changed, and I'm scared about that.

**I can't take it any longer**

**Thought that we were stronger**

**All we do is linger**

**Slipping through our fingers**

Emmitt and Rosalie have finally arrived and the 'family' is together again. It's now or never I can do this, I don't want to linger in this relationship anymore. I have to let go.

**I don't want to try now**

**All that's left is goodbye to**

**Find a way that I can tell you**

What am I going to say, how do I break a vampires heart. I know he loves me, but it's not enough. All we have left is our love, but relationships need more than that to survive.

**I hate this part right here**

**I hate this part right here**

**I just can't take your tears**

**I hate this part right here**

Alice is looking more and more worried. I know she's keeping her mind closed off to Edward, because I know if he saw what Alice is seeing, he would be freaking out. At the moment he's talking and laughing with Emmitt and Jasper. He looks so happy and normal. I haven't seen him smile and laugh like that for a while now. That's really bad.

**I know you'll ask me to hold on**

**And carry on like nothing is wrong**

**But there is no more time for lies**

**Cause I see sun set in your eyes**

I know that he'll ask me to stay, but I know I can't. I can't carry on like there's nothing wrong. We aren't good for each other; I don't think we ever were. This isn't a healthy relationship, never has been. The sun is setting, it's almost time for dinner, and It smells good. It bothers me that I will be the other one eating once again at a family dinner, that's another reason I can't do this anymore, I want to be able to share meals with my loved ones.

**I can't take it any longer**

**Thought that we were stronger**

**All we do is linger**

**Slipping through our fingers**

**I don't want to try now**

**All that's left is goodbye to**

**Find a way that I can tell you**

Time is running out, it's getting closer, maybe I should put this off until we get back home; enjoy one more family gathering before everything goes to hell. I need to stop being such a brat and just enjoy what I've got. Do I really need to break up with Edward? I know we have problems, but maybe we can work them out.

**But I gotta do this**

**I gotta do it**

**I gotta do it**

**I hate this part**

NO! I have to do this. I can't back down now. I've been miserable for months and I can't take it anymore. I need to end this and make a clean break.

**I gotta do it**

**I gotta do it**

**I gotta do it**

I can do this, I can do this. The sooner I do this, the sooner I can go home, not my apartment I have with Edward, my real home, back to Forks. I need Charlie and I need Jacob. I can't do this anymore. My heart will always be in Forks, and with Jake. Here I go.

**I hate this part right here**

**I hate this part right here**

**I just can't take these tears**

**I hate this part right here**

"Edward can we talk…"

**AN: I hope you guys enjoyed this, up next is one done completely in Jakes POV. Until next time!**


	7. Tourniquet

**Hey everyone! I'm back. Been a little busy with some stuff. This one is done in Jakes POV. It's done to Tourniquet by Evanescence. I hope you enjoy it!**

**Disclaimer: I own Nothing.**

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**I tried to kill the pain**

**But only brought more (so much more) **

I knew kissing her was going to be a bad idea. I thought that once she realized how she felt about me, she would give me a chance. But she didn't. I had to watch her leave and marry the leech. That and the events after that have led up to me lying here in so much pain.

**I lay dying**

**And I'm pouring crimson regret and betrayal**

**I'm dying, praying, bleeding and screaming**

I don't want to feel this pain anymore. I'm dying; it hurts too much for me to still be alive. I just want to scream all my pain away. I'm praying that death will be quick, so I don't feel the pain and the regret.

**Am I too lost?**

**To be saved?**

**Am I too lost?**

I've done some things lately that I'm not proud of. Things that have taken me from the path that my ancestors have laid out before me. I thought I could force her to love me. I've abandoned my family and my tribe all for her. I'm too lost to be saved now.

**My God, my tourniquet**

**Return to me salvation**

**My God, my tourniquet**

**Return to me salvation**

I just want to put a tourniquet on my heart to stop the pain. Death will be my salvation. I embrace it with open arms.

**Do you remember me?**

**Lost for so long**

**Will you be on the other side?**

**Or will you forget me?**

I miss her so much. I wonder if I'll see her on the other side. Will she remember me? I haven't been myself for so long. I've been so lost lately. Will she still see the same little boy that I was? Or the man that I've become.

**I'm dying, praying, bleeding, and screaming**

**Am I too lost?**

**To be saved?**

**Am I too lost?**

Death seems so much closer now, I can feel the darkness approaching. I scream for it to take me under. Nothing can save me now; I've been lostfor so long now I wouldn't want to be saved.

**My God, my tourniquet**

**Return to me salvation**

**My God, my tourniquet**

**Return to me salvation**

I've never been the religious type. I know of our legends and the gods that we pray to, but I wonder if the good I've done will be enough to redeem me. I wonder if salvation will be mine in the end.

**(Return to me salvation)**

**(Ohhhhhh)**

**(I want to die)**

I feel cold now. Which is saying a lot since I've been a werewolf. Running at a 108 temp has become the norm for me. To feel the cold is oddly soothing for me right now. I know death is closer now. I just want to die now.

**My God, my tourniquet**

**Return to me salvation**

**My God, my tourniquet**

**Return to me salvation**

Will she be there to greet me? My sweet salvation. She's always been my salvation. In this dark world, she was always my light. I want to see my light again.

**My wounds cry for the grave**

**My soul cries for deliverance**

**Will I be denied?**

**Christ? (Christ)**

**Tourniquet**

**My suicide**

Please just take me now, my soul is crying to be delivered. The pain has become too much for me to bear. I didn't think death would hurt this much. I should have thought this out more clearly. All I wanted was to see my light. My salvation. Even if it meant by my own hands.

**(Return to me salvation)**

I can hear my heart slowing down and I know this is it. Time to see if I have earned my salvation, or if I cursed to continue to be alone forever. I close my eyes one last time...

**(Return to me salvation)**

I open my eyes to the brightness all around me. I look around at where I'm at. A bright light is coming my where am. I smile as I realized I have earned my salvation, because coming to welcome me is my Angel, my sweet salvation...

"Hey Bells..."

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**It's a little dark I know, but I really wanted to do a dark Jacob POV. I wanted to leave it to up your imagination about whats going on and draw your own conclusions. But for those that wanna know whats going on, scroll down further passed this note for details! **

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**So basically everything is the same up to the end of Eclipse. Bella still chose Edward. But the only difference was Edward agreeded to change her right after the wedding, before they left for their honeymoon. Well something went wrong and Bella didn't survive the change. Jacob, being upset, formed a plan to see his Bells again. He went to the Cullens alone and demanded that Edward pay for his crimes. They fight, Jacob falls. Edward bites him and as the venom is shutting down his system, he reflects on what brought him here, and his salvation. He knew it would end like this, he knew he would die.**


	8. Taking Me Over

**Hi guys, I'm back. I'm sorry I haven't written anything in a while. I'm hoping to get back into it. For those that are following my other story 'Through the Storm' look for a chapter in the next few days! **

**Song: Taking Me Over by Evanescence **

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I can't believe that Jake is gone. All because Edward had to send an invitation to him. I can't believe he did that. It made me so mad. He told me that if it was the other way around, he would want an invite. I know that's a lie, Edward send the invitation just to get one last dig in at Jake.

**You don't remember me but I remember you**

**I lie awake and try so hard not to think of you**

**But who can decide what they dream?**

**And dream I do...**

I can't sleep at night. I keep dreaming about Jake. I dream about him coming back to me. As selfish as that sounds, I can't help it. I try to dream about Edward and our life together, but that's just not the way dreams work.

**I believe in you**

**I'll give up everything just to find you**

**I have to be with you to live to breathe**

**You're taking over me**

I'm ready to just forget all this wedding stuff and go out and search for Jake. I know I would never be able to find him, but I feel like I have to try. I realize how much I love Jake; I would be willing to give up everything for him. When he's not around, I find it hard to breath, it's like he's the other part of me. He's all I can think about. Thoughts of him are taking me over

**Have you forgotten all I know?**

**And all we had?**

**You saw me mourning my love for you**

**And touched my hand**

**I knew you loved me the****n**

How could he leave me? After all we went through, he just left. My Jake, my sunshine is gone. I knew he loved me; he never had to say it. I could see it in his eyes; I could feel it when he touched me. He made me realize that I loved him too. He stood by me, and fixed me, and what did I do? Broke his heart and left him for Edward.

**I believe in you**

**I'll give up everything just to find you**

**I have to be with you to live to breathe**

**You're taking over me**

I can't go through with this anymore; I can't keep pretending that I'm not in love with my best friend. I can't keep pretending that I'm okay with this sham of a wedding. I've fallen out of love with Edward, I can't marry him. I feel suffocated when I'm with Edward. Did I always feel like this? Or is it because of my love for Jake that is making me see how controlling he is. With Jake, I can breathe and be free.

**I look in the mirror and see your face**

**If I look deep enough**

**So many things inside that are just like you are taking over**

As I'm sitting at my mirror, brushing my hair, I feel a presence behind. Not the one I was expecting. I don't know how I knew who it was, but I just did. I looked up in the mirror and saw the eyes that I had missed so much staring back at me. Jake. He had come back to me. As I looked in his eyes through the mirror, I could see the hurt and the pain behind them. But even with all that, I still saw the love and devotion for me behind them. I know my eyes reflected his.

**I believe in you**

**I'll give up everything just to find you**

**I have to be with you to live to breathe**

**You're taking over me**

I couldn't stand it anymore; I pushed my chair back and ran into his arms. I knew he would catch me. Just being back in his arms again, I felt like I could breathe again. The suffocating feelings I had been having were gone. Back in his arms I felt whole again. I felt his warm taking me over. I didn't realize how cold I had been since he left.

**I believe in you**

**I'll give up everything just to find you**

**I have to be with you to live to breathe**

**You're taking over me**

Jake pushed me away to get a better look at me. He was looking into my eyes, like he was searching for something. I don't know what he was searching for, but I guess he found it, because next thing I know, he's kissing me.

**Taking over me**

At first I was shocked, I knew I shouldn't be doing this, but I couldn't help it. I kissed him back. I put everything I had, everything I felt into the kiss. I wanted him to feel all the things that I couldn't say out loud.

**You're taking over me**

I could hear my phone ringing. I didn't need to look to see who it was. I know my future changed the minute Jake came into my room. I didn't care. I now know where my heart lies.

**Taking over me**

There's no going back, I plan to stand by Jake's side no matter what. I knew the Cullen's' would be hurt over this, especially Edward, but I would except if they decided leave again. I wouldn't fall apart again

**Taking over me**

I knew Jake would hold me up

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**There you go! Hope you enjoyed it!**

**Until next time!**


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